If I jumped off a bridge at 37 mph, and it was a Monday, and I was wearing purple shoes...

I'm not a math person. Just putting that out there as a disclaimer. But even after struggling through algebra and all that glorious high school math, I think I can get math eventually. I just don't like it. I figure if I can balance a check book and calculate how much of a tip I need to leave for my waiter, then I'm good.

Then college throws a loop at me. I have to take Math 105 and 106 before I can be free of the academic math world forever. Here's the catch: Math 105/106 is Math for Elementary teachers. Sounds like counting plastic bears and learning shapes, right? WRONG.

You would never think triangles could be such complex shapes. You would never anticipate that when you stomp angrily down High street you end up silently cursing to yourself at the sidewalk and all the stupid rhombuses that make up the patterned cement you're walking on. Don't even get me started on rays and arcs and angles... Or how any of the special needs children, ages birth to 3 will ever be able to begin to comprehend the math I'm being forced to learn in order to (God willing) pass this class.

Still not convinced? Try this problem that was on my homework this week:
Ann and Kelly are standing on a river bank, wondering how wide the river is. Ann is wearing a baseball cap, so she comes up with the following idea; She lowers her cap until she sees the tip of the visor just at the opposite bank of the river. She then turns around 180 degrees, to face away from the river, being careful not to tilt her head or cap, and has Kelly walk to the spot where she can just see Kelly's shoes. By pacing off the distance between them, Ann and Kelly figure that Kelly was 50 feet away from Ann. If the ground around the river is level, what, if anything, can Ann and Kelly conclude about how wide the river is? Relate this to triangle congruence.

I'm very tempted to write on my homework:
Ann and Kelly obviously need to get a life. If the only thing they are really concerned about is how wide various rivers are, they can either get a hobby or look up the river's name on google and figure out its dimensions in addition to plenty of other completely useless information about rivers or whatever their hearts may desire. Also, why is Ann wearing a baseball cap? If it's summer, they should be jumping in the river, or doing something fun, other than pacing and thinking about idiot math. And then there's the biggest problem: after all that work, chances are, the river isn't going to be level. So Kelly and Ann should probably stop wondering and go get some ice cream.

I have a funny feeling it wouldn't earn me any points though.