Solitude

I'm taking a night for myself. My own night. My last night of 2007.

This past weekend exploded on me. At least the year will go out with a bang, and hopefully not sizzle. I feel like I've grown even more, and through growing some thing s have become more and more clear to me. First and foremost being this: I really only have one method of coping when the going gets tough, and that's to block everything and everyone out and handle it myself. That's not getting me anywhere.

I'll try and come up with a list of resolutions for this year that I think I might be able to keep. I just found last year's list:

Lucky 2007. Fresh starts. Clean slates. Let's go!

Learn to tap-dance
Exercise daily
Read a non-school book a month
Make genuine smiling a regular habit of every day
Eat less sugary food
Take more chances
Get a group together to volunteer at next year's Project Cheer
Write a short story OR draw a short comic just for fun. (Displaying it to others is optional.)
Knit a sweater!
Stop focusing so intensely on appearances/don't become too wrapped up in vanity
Re-learn how to do a cartwheel
Pray/read my bible more regularly
Don't let fear control me
Become better at cooking
Volunteer at a soup kitchen
Be more thankful for everything I have and everyone I have!


I didn't fulfill them all... But I did try harder at some. But I still don't know how to do a cartwheel! I think I'll go get on that now, among other things.

Wonderful

Oh yes, everything's just fine. I'm feeling wonderful.

I take so, so much for granted. How many people get three square meals a day? A place to sleep? A loving family? Supportive friends? A college education? Let alone ridiculous amounts of material things. (The cable TV is nice, I have to admit...)

I'm trying to appreciate every minute of every day. I have everything to be thankful for. I want to fill myself up with thankfulness and selflessness and hope. I want to fill up so much that it will all spill over and touch someone, anyone, even if in a small way and make their life a little better, a little more hopeful. I want to travel the world and smile at every person I cross paths with. I want to hear their story, I want to learn about them. I want to give and give and give until I have nothing left.

Most importantly, I don't want to keep telling myself, "Oh, I'll do that someday." Someday should be today...